Large-scale social media services have been challenged due to their lack of ethical principles, which has resulted in allegations of user manipulation such as propagation of fake news related to COVID-19 vaccination and biased algorithmic curations that lead to social polarization. We studied current social media community guidelines and conducted a systematic literature review to identify the core values needed for the establishment of guidelines for responsible social media services. Through expert interviews, a framework and guidelines are proposed for each (...) of three areas: protecting privacy, raising awareness, and controlling abuse. We present each set of guidelines with executable principles and relevant design interventions that practitioners can use to offer responsible social media services. Our expert interviews surfaced tensions between the three areas that need to be addressed in developing responsible social media, such as privacy vs. sharing information, pseudonymity vs. safety, and spreading information vs. safety. (shrink)