In recent years, reports on youth sports excesses and abuses of minors underscore the need for a safer sport environment. However, the way in which parents guide their children in dealing with winning and losing in sports is less understood. A care ethical inquiry into sport parenting might contribute to a better understanding of the role parents play in creating a safe sport environment for their children. This study applies theoretical perspectives from care ethics into practical context focusing on the (...) relationship between parents and their sporting children through the lens of relational identity. An interpretative phenomenological study was conducted into the meaning of competitiveness amongst Dutch parents of children aged eleven and twelve, who play hockey and are in the midst of transitioning from sport as a game to competitive sport. This article concludes that the meaning of competitiveness for these parents is twofold. On the one hand there is a desire to be proud of your child’s success, fuelled by meritocratic ideals. On the other hand, parents desire their child’s ongoing commitment to sport, which they consider a return investment for the sacrifices they make to support their child’s sport participation. From a care ethical stance of relational responsibility, parents should not solely view sport as a quid pro quo concept in which desires are fulfilled or battles settled, but rather as a game that is enjoyed by both parents and children. Mature sport parenting can only emerge once the tensions resulting from parental sacrifices on the one hand and the child’s loyalty to meet parental expectations on the other are overcome through dialogue and reflection, aimed at elucidating responsibilities within the relationship. More research is needed to gain insight into the significance of this relational connection for the youth sports climate. (shrink)