This article examines the ACPA/NASPA Competencies as functional protocol of the neoliberal state. Described as ‘not a checklist’, Competencies structure rubrics, conferences, jobs, and performance as static, indicative of a power/knowledge rooted in protocol. We utilize post qualitative thinking, specifically poetics, to create a series of experimentations (in)tension with Competencies. This micropolitical practice disrupts protocol, opening imaginative space for subversion, movement, and becoming ∼ professional.