Both Plato and Confucius were deeply concerned with moral cultivation and political leadership, topics that were inherently gendered in ancient patriarchal societies. I show that both thinkers focused their discussions on concepts that were associated with male aristocratic ideals of gentlemanliness. Yet while Confucian texts emphasize moral behavior and ritual to beautify the male body (shen 身), Plato focuses on the cultivation of a non-physical soul, which women also possess. Various theories have been proposed to explain this difference in their (...) understandings of the self, but when we bare the gendered nature of their inquiry in mind, an important difference takes center stage: for Socrates, the male body is an object of sexual desire. This paper highlights the influence of homoerotic desire in Plato’s unique approach to gentlemanliness, offering a new perspective for comparing these philosophers' views on gender, cultivation, and leadership. (shrink)