Deliberative democrats responding to the challenge of fostering reciprocity and civic friendship discourage in-group deliberations, taking them to stoke hostilities and preclude the possibility of sociability between groups. In opposition to these views, I argue that in-group deliberation presents itself as a promising, yet underappreciated, normative category for conflict transformation. I support this claim with reference to the observation that deliberative exchanges among like members are just as, if not more, consequential in the facilitation of positive actor transformations than deliberations (...) among unlike members, especially when antipathy defines group relations. (shrink)