Dependency is fundamental to caring relationships. However, given that dependency implies asymmetry, it also brings moral problems for nursing. In nursing theory and theories of care, dependency tends to be framed as a problem of self‐determination—a tendency that is mirrored in contemporary policy and practice. This paper argues that this problem frame is too narrow. The aim of the paper is to articulate additional theoretical ‘problem frames’ for dependency and to increase our understanding of how dependency can be navigated in (...) practices of long‐term care. It does so by way of an empirical ethical analysis of how care professionals tackle the problem of dependency in group homes for people with intellectual disabilities. The paper refers to these practices of mitigating the problem of dependency as ‘dependency work’, a phrase borrowed from Eva Kittay. The analysis of dependency work suggests that for care professionals, dependency is a threefold problem: one of self‐determination, one of parity and one of self‐worth. These findings suggest that patient autonomy cannot be a full solution to the problem of dependency in long‐term care relations. But they also show that dependency as such is not a problem that can be solved, as attempts to mitigate it only serve to tighten the dependency relationship further. This is the paradox of dependency work. (shrink)