Many studies have shown that women are more likely than men to be living kidney donors, and the discrepancy is particularly marked in heterosexual couples: wives are more likely than husbands to donate a kidney to their spouse. This ‘ Gender Kidney Donation Gap’ can be understood in terms of Carol Gilligan’s claims about gender differences in ethical decision-making style, making it appropriate to analyse responses to this imbalance using an ethic of care. This article centres the vast majority of (...) living donors, those who donate in the context of a significant pre-existing relationship. A cost-neutral approach is unfair on donors who make society richer and healthier by helping a loved one. However, models of kidney sale fail to offer an acceptable alternative, either (a) compelling donors to sell into a pool where they do not know the recipient or (b) allowing affluent individuals unfair access to kidneys. Drawing on surrogacy law in England and Wales, a model of compensation is proposed that includes a range of non-financial benefits. This option celebrates donation and expresses gratitude to all donors while avoiding the pitfalls of the marketplace, with an emphasis on fair treatment of donors. Nevertheless, if more generous treatment led to a 10% increase in directed donation, then it would be equivalent to doubling ‘altruistic’ stranger donations. As long as the Gender Kidney Donation Gap persists, the best response is to minimise the discomfort and disruption caused to donors by their profound act of kindness. (shrink)