This article is about changes in dominant modes of social conduct, particularly involving relationships between the sexes. Changes in behavioural codes and ideals were noted in the course of a comparative analysis of etiquette books published in the Netherlands from 1930 to 1985. There was a gap of approximately thirteen years during which, with one exception, no books on this subject were published. There was, however, an upsurge of books on liberation and self-realization, coupled with a relative loosening of behavioural (...) codes and ideals. Since the start of the 1980s, there appears to have been a tightening of these codes and ideals, both as regards relationships between men and women and in general. These changes are presented as developments in the sense of informalization and formalization, aspects of civilizing processes. The article commences with a short elaboration upon the concepts of informalization and formalization, goes on to present the results of the comparative analysis of the etiquette books, and concludes that nowadays a formalization of preceding informalization is taking place, a stage in the long-term process of informalization. (shrink)