Care work is both gendered and relational, defined typically as the care women do for others. When faced with a chronic life-threatening illness such as breast cancer, women must learn to perform care work for the self. Drawing from participant observation and 60 in-depth interviews, the author explores the gendered strategies and justifications women use to cope with breast cancer and engage in care work for the self. Women in the study used a multiprocess, gendered “balancing act” to learn to (...) balance their needs with the needs of others, which involves setting boundaries and establishing criteria for accepting and asking for help. These strategies reflect a negotiation of normative expectations that stress women's selflessness, empathy, and caring for others. (shrink)